I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I have post one night stand depression
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
