You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
