I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
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