i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
