i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
