You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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