Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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