EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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