just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
and she was petting her beer can
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
