Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Your cock deserves a montage
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
