3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
