Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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