yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Randomize
