hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
