It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
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