just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
