No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I miss vodka workout Fridays
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
We were destined to go to rehab together
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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