You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
