Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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