Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
