Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
You work out of a Hotel?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
