remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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