i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
time to smoke my breakfast
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I didn't notice because vodka
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
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