Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(817): View more from Texas

So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Four. Poor grandma...

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?

(1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit

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(330): View more from Ohio

im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes

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(315): View more from New York

We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"

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(936): View more from Texas

You can't call dibs 8 years later.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS

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(778): View more from British Columbia

I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was

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(585): View more from New York

Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...

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