tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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