That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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