the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
