I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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