HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
