If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
