Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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