By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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