ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
