I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
