DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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