Sponge bath it is.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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