I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
