Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
We got so high we made milksteak
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
