New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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