I saw his package. It spoke to me.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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