This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
she smelled like a LAN party
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
