people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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