What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
pray to the hookup gods
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
