Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
