there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
