where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
