also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
i believe in u and ur pee
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