This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
