dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
