my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
My ass is underappreciated
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
