I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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