I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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