Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
